it struck me square between the eyes last friday how disturbing it must be to witness, literally, someone you love being executed...

i took my blind, deaf, and disoriented 16 year old eskimo spitz to be euthanized ... i cried uncontrollably and in the form of HUGE alligator tears in a way that i hadn't since i "put down" my 13 year old german shepherd on july 8, 2000 ...

it hurt so bad, particularly when sinbad yelped, three times, in all that was left of his capacity to talk/bark near the end ... they botched the "procedure" and as the poison coursed through his heart and lungs he was stricken in agony - i know his sounds and clearly the little guy, as he lay there in my arms, was hurting ...

when it was finally over and his tongue hung lifelessly on the cold, steel tabletop, i breathed a sigh of relief, but as of this meditation i continue to be racked by the pain he suffered in those final moments ...

i am in NO WAY comparing my loss to that of someone who loses a father, mother, son, daughter, or other close kin to homicide at the hands of the state, but being empathetic as a human i was deeply struck by how profound such a loss might be ...

and i can truly say with compassion, for i do know too many people personally who have lost a treasured loved one to murder at the hands of an individual (or group of individuals), that the grief of their tragedy can only be similarly deep and profound ...

who knows what people feel when we execute them -- when the sodium thiopental is injected (is it enough??? are they anesthetized??? don't even professionals in hospital surgery rooms make mistakes???); and the pancuronium bromide courses through the veins (if they're muscularly paralyzed how would we ever know that they may not be anesthetized???); and finally as the potassium chloride stops the heart (would they yelp in surprise, fear, and pain as little sinbad did three times last friday) ...

is lethal injection painful??? - prolly'...

is execution by any method cruel and inhumane??? - absolutely ...

we can't bring back murder victims...
we can't legislate closure for victim's families...
let's prevent those killings we know are scheduled to take place...
let's not create more victims as a matter of public policy...
enough pre-meditated, policy-based violence...
join me and let's abolish this damned thing...

in loving memory of sinbad who came to me at age 12, one day short of death at the humane association where he had been dropped 4 months earlier by his previous "owners," and spent four more pretty damn good years in a loving house with 5 or 6 other doggies...

peace out - <3